Some times, or should I say, to often we make excuses for not dealing with a particular issue when it comes to relationships. We let time pass and hope the issue will pass as well, what we do not understand is that we are cheating ourselves and whomever we are in relationship with. We are settling for mediocrity in relationships when we could have phenomenal!
I have just dealt with this kind of situation. Instead of dealing with the issues, I led myself to believe that if I was the "bigger person" or if I just got myself to believe that this is what the other person wanted then I was fine with that. The only problem is, I never asked the other person what they wanted and by being this "bigger person", I was off the hook because I no longer had to confront an issue. I could live my life, at times feeling sorry for myself because this relationship had so much potential, but had such a barrier in the way of thriving. I could have someone to share life with, but instead I watched from the sidelines as others danced through theirs.
I would love to say that I was the one to bring up the issue, but alas, I would be leading you all astray! The issue was brought to my attention and I then got on the phone and called my friend to talk through this issue. We were able to tell our sides of the story and date is back for years, and as I was in this conversation, I realized that if I just would have said something from the beginning, if I would have given as much effort as this relationship is worth to me, then I would have something that would have been so much deeper and free and fun and hard and messy and joyous.
As I am not going to rant, I am going to say that I believe that every person deals with this type of situation in our every day lives. We let an issue go unnoticed, and yes I agree that there are many issues that we can and should let pass, but there are many issues that we "let pass" because we do not want the confrontation. These issues have a way of giving off a little bit of poison every time our hyper sensitive buzzer detects that we are being wronged. If we all could just explain how we are feeling in our relationships and tell each other what hurts us, we can gain understanding and insight and truth. If we let our minds wander around "what if" land, we are short changing ourselves and others. Once we feel hurt, we should let the person/people involved how we are feeling so that this emotion doesn't thrust itself into our imagination, free to become as large as we let it.
If we can just open our mouths and have a conversation, I think we may be surprised by how much it helps our relationships and even helps the sun shine into every moment of our day. Just think about it... :)
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