The Latest Update on My Health...

So, I went to the doctor last week to get my blood drawn to do some testing. When the results came back... they found out that my thyroid is borderline low again, which could be why when I eat so well and exercise why I can't get back into shape... So, hopefully that will help... I am also back on prescription vitamin D, thank you NW with your rain and clouds and all around dreary atmosphere. I have to say that I am glad that we had some sunshine today!!!

As far as the other tests... when I went in they kind of gave me some hypothetical situations. One is just keeping me on my same medication which they are hoping to get me off of because when you are on it for a long period of time it can damage your heart and cause problems when you want to get pregnant, someday of course. The next option was if my IGF-1 was high which is my insulin growth factor... If this is high after a couple of tests then it would mean my tumor is secreting a growth hormone and the first option would be surgery and if it is not in a good place that could not cause any potential damage to my spinal chord or nick my pituitary glad then we will look into injections to stop my tumor from secreting the growth hormone. I am not sure how long or how often I would have to get them, but they would make me really really sick which would not be ideal. :)

Anyways, back to my test results... my IGF-1 came back high so this coming Tuesday at 8 am, I have a 3 hour glucose tolerance test and then the next tuesday I have another 3 hour test and then after that I will meet with my doctor to discuss the results of the tests. From there we will discuss what steps we will take next... So that is the latest and I know it isn't the most interesting read, but I am tired and have a bit of a headache... Thank you all so so so much for praying and for all of your support, it means the world to me! I love you all to pieces!!

Jesus Loves Me...

So, after having an emotional couple of days Jesus likes to throw me for a loop and love on me in all of the right ways. I had no idea a few months ago how much I would be blessed by going and seeing Tyrone Wells perform. I have to lay some ground work, Tyrone’s music has been a great comfort for me through this whole process and when I am down, I just pop in his music and Jesus shows his love to me through song. I hear Jesus through music a lot actually…. Anyways, I went to the dentist this morning and was happy because I did not have any problems… So that was feat one of the day, go to some sort of medical appointment and not have an issue. To most of you, you are probably thinking that this is nothing, but to me this is God’s provision on my heart. I was just telling my mom yesterday how I wish I could go to an appointment and not have some sort of problem for once and here I go to the dentist on “April Fool’s Day” and I have my first appointment in a long time without any complications… Now tell me that Jesus does not have a sense of humor!

I went to meet my friend Amber down at Mississippi studios and we went and ate next door first and made some new friends and saw some interesting characters as well. We had some great conversation and God really used her to speak some truth into my heart… I am finding that one part of me finds it very hard to let others speak truth to me when it comes down to who I am as a person. I am working very hard at accepting it instead of shrugging it off, but I want to grow in any way I can so I am working at it. We then headed over to the concert with Bonnie and Daniel. Tyrone was beaming with the Holy Spirit… It was all over him!! He spoke on a couple different things, one was just about his relationship with Jesus and he was so honest and humble and pure and gentle and genuine… He talked about what he believed and it looked like he was just walking hand in hand with a friend of his. It was beautiful. It makes me want to be more bold with people and stand up for what I believe and what I hold onto with my morals and just cherish what is precious to me. The other thing he talked about was another big one… He talked about women and how society has pushed the wrong image of beauty and just embracing how God created us and said to be confident in who we are because that is the most attractive thing to a guy. It was a message I need to hear because I have struggled with body image issues for way too long!!! I am ready to break free from that and truly live in freedom with Jesus!!

I am so excited because I finally am starting to feel like I am myself again. I am fully back, but I am coming and I am coming strong, with Jesus there is not anyone who can push me down and satan does not have a lie that can keep me anymore… I choose to believe what Jesus says is true, I mean why would I want to believe someone who is not looking out for my best interest? It just doesn’t make sense. I would really challenge everyone to take a look at who you are now and compare that with who you were as a child and see where you may need to release control over and come back to yourself as a child who’s father is ready to embrace You, not who you think someone wants, but He created each one of us different because He wanted diversity and uniqueness and beauty and all of the quirks… We are free to be beautiful and handsome and loved and to love… We are free to put ourselves out there and free to fall back into Jesus’ arms when we get hurt, but just because we get hurt it does not mean that we take ourselves out of the race… Share your dreams with Jesus… Don’t give up on them, they are there for a reason, don’t just accept mediocre as the best you will get… I love you all and am so thankful for who you have been in my life and for the support along my journey… Have an amazing day everyone and sorry for my rambling! :)

Ames~

New Year... New news...

So, I am sorry again for my vacancy on my blog. For some reason, when you are not glued to a couch for months at a time it is hard to sit down and write something worth reading. So, here goes nothing... haha!!

There are a few aspects to this blog... Health (the reason for this blog), upcoming events in my life, and struggles/how God is working... So here goes nothing :)

On March 19th I went into the waterfront offices of OHSU... My first stop was on floor number 3, the MRI, which is not totally invasive but the sounds that thing makes could make cats scream... take a moment, imagine what that would sound like... yes there ya go, now you are in an MRI.... So, I went in and did my waiting in the waiting room (sidenote, have you people ever thought that they need to change that name, waiting room... it is more like an excuse than anything else, they should call it the in and out room) anyways, so my nurse came back and started to go through everything with me, but I am a pro and so I told her that there was no metal on me from head to toe and so I followed her into the room to get my IV placed. One thing a nurse should NEVER say, that my nurse kindly stated was "I am not very good at this". Well, shame on me because I should have asked for another nurse right away, but instead I just sat there and said, "I am sure it won't be bad, I just can't look because it still makes me nervous." Well, here is how the conversation went on:

Nurse: Ok, here comes the needle (small poke)
Me: Oh, that didn't hurt at all
Nurse: I wouldn't say that quite yet (yet another thing a nurse should never say)
Me: Oh... (then in my head... ow ow ow ow... what is she doing in there with that thing?)
Nurse: Oh I think I should call the other nurse... Nurse Sue, nurse Sue... (all the while she is wiggling a little thing in my arm)
Me: (in my head... this feels like she is putting an epidural in my arm... and there she goes again... owwwww pain!!)
Nurse: Oh there we go, I got it...
Me: (in my head... I do not like this lady)

So, after we bonded I followed her back into the room and she connected me to the contrast machine and slid me back into the machine... It went for a while and once it was over, I thought that was the worst part, but alas, she had some more fun planned for me... She tried to disconnected the cord and my IV, but she could not get it so again... We go with the what not to do... She grabs my IV and starts pulling in two directions... She then states "I put this on so tight, it doesn't seem to want to come off... I guess I will just have to break it off... Seriously lady... why!!! Luckily she got it off without a problem so there I was on my way up to the 8th floor, I have never been so excited to visit the neurosurgery level... As I am talking to the receptionist I look down and notice that my blood is coming down my arm from where my IV is... This is a new concept for me as this has never happened before... I told the receptionist and he sent me back to my doctor who stated that it was a total mess and fixed me up... I went through my appointment without a hitch from there on... Praise Jesus!!!

I got the results back and my tumor is the same size as it was before which is not bad, but it is not what they were hoping so they upped my dose of medication... Now I am back to taking it two times a week again instead of once. Most of my bloodwork came back OK as my doctor put... all except my Vitamin D which was low, so my doctor ordered a vitamin D prescription... and my insulin growth factor was up again... which is my growth hormone... I have to go back in, in June and get my levels checked again... If it is high still then I will have to have one more test to truly test it out and if it is high after that then we will look at surgery.

So, now we are onto what is coming up in my life. I am trying to get an internship in marketing and then in the Fall I am planning on going back to Oregon State to get my degree in Marketing. That is the plan for now, so we will see what happens in between now and then.

As far as what I have been struggling with... I have had two friends in particular let's just call them R and T.... :) I had amazing conversations with them and they were so encouraging and speaking truth and healing into me and I was doing so well... and then I went to get my allergy shots today... I had the smallest dose and I had a reaction and they have to talk to my doctor and figure out what to do with me. I got that news and the news about my blood results all in a matter of two or so hours. So, I was driving home... crying which was not the safest thing to do, but I was and I was listening to the United Pursuit Band and the song Arise, Shine came on and it was so good... I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. I got home and got everything under control and my doctor's nurse called to make my blood work appointment... well, I got off the phone and bawled... See, this doesn't happen very often because I tend to hold it all in and cry in the shower (for some reason it is the best place for me to do it) anyways, I got myself under control again and went inside just to be asked by Lexi what was wrong... I cried again... Geez!! So, that is what I am struggling with.... Purpose in the hard stuff and feeling the emotions, but not getting lost in them...

Every day brings something a little bit new, but I am ready to face it in relationship with Jesus, because the One who loves me most is the One who is in charge and caring for me in all the details!! Thank you all for praying and I will let you know what happens as soon as I find anything out!! I love you all so much!! Muahhh!!!

Ames~

This past weekend!

So, this past weekend my mom, Lexi, Matthew, and I venture into the cold weather and hopped aboard a plane to good old New York City! The thursday morning started out without missing a beat, our flight was non stop from Portland to JFK, 4 and a half hours, we couldn't have been more happy. We went straight from the airport to our hotel on Long Island and hung out for the evening resting up for the big day ahead of us. (I forgot to mention, the car was a sort of small limo almost reminding one of a batmobile, it was a fun way to start our weekend). You see, Matthew had never been to NY before and we wanted him to see the city especially since it is all decorated for Christmas.

Friday morning we woke bright and early. We were up showered, clothed, hair and makeup done, we rushed down stairs and found our new found friends waiting for us in the restaurant, you see we had gone the night before and eaten dinner, now we were in a rush to get our breakfast, which turned out to be way more money that we could have possibly eaten. Together, Lexi and I, may have eaten $5 worth of food, but our bill told us differently. After we hurried through our meal we ran out to meet our taxi and climbed in headed for Farmington Station just a few miles away. Our cab driver directed us on what tickets to buy and before we knew it we were out in the biting wind and cold waiting for a train to NYC. After about 20 minutes in the cold we could hear the rumbling of the oncoming train, I, being the "mother" that I am, grabbed Matthew and told him to stand far away from the edge as I did not want to see him killed. He gave me a look of, seriously, and I ignored it and said just do it for me. So we were aboard our train into the city. Upon arriving to Penn Station we were excited to start our day. First we went to H&M (we do not have one in Portland) and then wandered along with everyone else in Manhattan through Macy's... That was well, interesting. We finally decided to give up on that store and find a Starbucks, what can we say the NW runs through our blood. Upon warming ourselves and deciding to get make our way towards Inglot our new favorite make up store... We spent a bit of time in there and went around a few other stores near Times Square...

Then our story gets a little interesting... We decided to grab the subway, which is no big deal to the normal group of people and we had done it before. We went down and looked at the map trying to decipher what these foreign symbols were trying to tell us. A nice man decided to show us what rails to take, what luck we were thinking, as the hectic travelers pushed through buying their tickets and passed along the entrance. We tried to figure out what we needed to buy and of course our "helpful friend" was right there to guide us... All of the sudden he was offering to give us tickets if we paid him in cash... It was all happening so quickly, I was looking for a name tag to see if he worked there, mom was following him through the emergency exit, and pretty soon $6 dollars later as the little scammer was scanning for cops we had three tickets in our hands and he was out of sight. After the exchange we all started thinking about how shady it all seemed. So, mom being the upright citizen that she is went right up to a cop and asked if we had done something totally illegal. He automatically said do not buy anything from anyone and took our tickets to see if we had been scammed... He came back to tell us that there is nothing on the cards. We had been played by a new york subway player... and of course all the while mom is saying she is going to go over there and give him a piece of her mind... Ummmmm, we looked at her with mouths open and eyes bulging... "NO YOU ARE NOT", "DO YOU WANT TO GET SHOT" "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" These were all comments rushing out of our mouths sounding astonished... After the cop came and told us he was gone he directed us where to go and before we knew it we were watching the Rockettes in the Christmas Spectacular, followed by seeing the tree at Rockafeller Center, seeing the windows on 5th avenue and eating dinner before returning to the train station and settling for the night at the hotel.

Saturday was a day of excitement... It was the day of our friends' wedding. We got all dressed up and ready to go and met everyone down in the lobby. It was an amazing night filled with food and dancing and love and Jesus. It was out of a storybook somewhere I am sure. That night the snow came down and kept coming down and by the morning our flight was cancelled.


Not knowing what our best option was we gathered our things ate breakfast and headed to the airport, just to find the rest of the world was waiting there as well... After a couple of hours we found out that we would not be able to get out of JFK until Christmas Day at the earliest and Saturday for sure. I researched and found one flight going out of Washington DC the next evening at 9 pm that would take us to San Francisco. We decided to buy the flight and head over the Penn Station. We could not get out that night because of delays, but we were able to get tickets for 4:40 am the next morning. At this point Lexi was not feeling well and so we hurried and found a motel across the street which looked nice from the lobby, well my friends... Looks can be SO DECEIVING... It was the Bates Motel... Old, smelly, creaky! The flights flashed on a pale green which made the eerie old bathroom buzz in the night. Mom reassured Lex that she would feel much better after a shower and so she turned the shower and as the water began to run the smell of cat pee filled the room... It got a little better after a while, but we were all very disturbed... The beds hard as rocks held us for the next couple hours as cold air blew in from somewhere that was not sealed by the window. We were all ready to get up as all four alarms went off at 4 am... We rushed up and walked out into the cold through the snow and the slush to find that our train was delayed... Not only was our train delayed, but Lexi was very sick and miserable. After about an hour and a half we boarded our train and rode to DC... Once in DC we caught up taxi the Dulles International Airport and wating until 9 pm to board our flight to San Fran. Our Virgin America flight was glorious... First class of the best kind although I could not sleep... We arrived in San Fran at midnight and rushed down to get our bags and found our way back to Delta to recheck only to find out that we had to wait until 3:45 am to do so. We put some blankets on the floor and camped out until that dreadful hour. We then stood in line and were told we needed to be at Alaska Airlines and walked over in that direction... After waiting for what seemed forever a lady came and said we do not open until 5 am... we will be back at 5:05 to help you if you want to wait over there and keep your bags in line. By the time we got our bags checked we were now waiting in a long security line... We rushed through and sat at our gate and boarded our plane which was an iceburg of sorts. After our flight home we rushed off the airplane at 9 am with a "Praise Jesus" dance!! We are now at home and clean and happy, but still have not slept since yesterday at 1 am... Tonight we will all sleep well!!! :) Love you all!!

Tonight...

So, today was a wonderful day... It started with my nieces and nephews coming over and it ended with an amazing night of praise and worship. Lex and I went to Katie's church and they had a worship service. They had music, invited people to paint or write on large pieces of paper and they showed a video that was great. The video showed how things can block our sight from Jesus and knowing that He is in control and He can handle all of my problems. As I was sitting there thinking about all of these things that take my eyes off of Jesus and knowing that He can handle any problems, three things came to mind... Pride, fear, and body image. The first is a hard pill to swallow at times and that is what makes it pride, pride comes at times to cover fear or because I feel I need to "do" more with my life. I am learning that what I do does not make me more valuable or more worthy, but I am just learning that God has me where I am at this point and it is right where I am supposed to be. As far as body image goes, it has been something that I have dealt with since I was a Junior in high school. It was never something that caused me to stop eating, I was just never happy with what my body looks like. It has driven my thoughts and actions for way too long. It is something that I have tried to get healing for over and over, but tonight I feel like I have given it truly to the feet of Jesus. I am sick of dealing with this day in and day out. It is an addiction of sorts and I am going to accept it as normal. I told my cousins' small group that those three things are what I wanted to lay at the feet of Jesus, so tonight I am walking with less baggage and my load is light because I have finally let Pride, Fear, and Body Image rest at the foot of Jesus. It is so freeing to know that He can handle all of my burdens and make my load light. I am so thankful for nights like this. God is so good! I love you all and hope you have a great night!!

Test Results...

This is a photo I took from the Tram of Downtown Portland... it was beautiful!!

So, today I went up to OHSU and I got to ride the tram for the first time... It was actually very exciting to me! I enjoyed myself! :) I had a meeting first with my doctor and everything was going great... no symptoms or anything... all great news. So we realized that it has been over a year since I had my last echocardiogram and that I needed another one to check on my valve function. This was the reason that I got to ride on the tram. I got my little pass and went out into the dreadful cold and waited to ride the tram. I made a friend on the tram who works in the opthamology department and gave me a card saying, if I ever needed their services to let him know. I told him thanks, but I try to keep it down to one department at a time, can't have too many problems. I found my way over to the Sam Jackson's Hall and up to the 2nd floor where I was walking around like a lost little puppy. A lady came around the corner and goes, are you lost and are you Amy. I said yes to both and she took me back to the echo room. I had the same guy from last year so I was excited because he is super nice and not creepy at all. We talked about his kids, the holidays, and the big cardiactric convention coming up in San Diego in June. After I got my heart looked at for a while I was sent back down the tram to the 3rd story of the building I came from to get my blood drawn. I think the lady was in a hurry or something, it being the end of the day and all, and she jammed that little needle right into my arm and it was painful... She made a nice little bruise, which I amnot super thankful about... Oh well... at least she got the blood, and hopefully I don't get her again. There is this guy who normally takes my blood who is amazing and nice and cute... Why I didn't get him... I will never know.


Tonight I got my results back from my blood and my echo. My echo is unchanged from last time, which is good news and my hormone levels were low, thus showing that I do not have to go in for another 6 months. When I go in, in 6 months we are hoping my levels are still low because I will be able to come off of my medication at that point and next year I will get another MRI to see that my tumor is gone... hopefully!! I am so happy about this and so thankful for all of the prayers and support. I truly love you all!!! Have a great night!!

From one perfect fit to another,
Ames~

Just so ya know...

Hey, I wanted to let you all know that I go to the doctor on Friday so I will have more info after that. I won't have the test results, but I should have some kind of brain information for you all! Thanks again for the continuous prayers and support! I love you all!!!! Muahhh!!!