My life as of now!! Updates folks...

There is a small to large possibility that this is all over the place.  I am going to try and make as much sense as possible... but again... when my head hurts I do have a hard time making all of my words coincide and jive, if you will... So, first I want to tell you two stories that have happened recently one funny and one tender!!

First, my mom was talking with someone we know and they said, "Kim, have you ever considered the reason Amy's head hurts is because of the elevation here at home?" (The elevation at my house is about 497 feet above sea level)  My mom looked right back and with a dead face said, "She has a tumor"... It was so funny to see the interaction that happened there... I don't know if you didn't think it was funny... I sure did!! :) 

Secondly, my uncle was talking to my mom asking how she has been and she was telling him that she has been dealing with a lot and sometimes it just gets hard.  She was explaining that I had to go to the doctor to find out if I needed brain surgery or just had to take medication... and my uncle, who is usually Mr. Tough Guy said well, if it gets hard on Amy then I will come over and just hold her if she needs me...  That is the single cutest thing ever!  It doesn't get much more tender than that.

So, I went to the doctor today and they said that at this point I do not need to have surgery.  I just have to take a form of chemotherapy through a medication called cabergoline.  I will be taking this bi-weekly and going to the doctor every 6 weeks to check to make sure it is doing well and then in a year (if everything is going according to plan) I will have another echocardiogram to make sure my heart is doing well with the medication.  There is an 80% chance that I will just get morning sickness on this medication, but there is also a 20% chance that it will make me very ill.  I may be sick a couple times and then get better with time or I will be intolerant and have to stop the medication and go back into the doctor and speak with a neurosurgeon.  At this point I am claiming that it will work well and quickly, the doctor said it may take 6 weeks to start working, and it will clear it all up and fix it and then we can move on with life being normal again.

So, now you get story time with Amy... I know you are all jumping for joy inside!!  I have been feeling a lot of emotions over this last bit of time and I am just coming to a sense of peace about it all.  I never was scared I was going to die or anything, but I was scared about always being sick or the medication making me throw up (as you all know is one of my worst fears in life).  I was thinking especially tonight that I am so stinking blessed.  I have people literally all over the world praying for me daily, I have the most supportive family (including extended), a grip of amazing friends, and some of the most experienced doctors in the area working with me.  My aunt Janice was over here tonight and she was giving me a head massage and speaking words of life over my head and praying for me while she was doing this...  I said something negative and she got right on me and said, promise me that you will never say that ever again (I would tell you what it was, but I promised) and she said you can live and die by your words.  That is so true... Sometimes it is so hard to stay positive because at a point you feel like this is never going to pass, but I am not helping myself one bit... if anything I am keeping myself hindered and in pain.  Then my aunt Krissie was praying for me and my aunts and uncle and sister and mom were all laying hands on me and I just realized how loved I truly am.  What do I have to fear when I have this many people praying over me and this is about the 5th or 6th times I have had others pray over me while laying hands on me.  How amazing is the body of Christ that we can come together and God will meet us in our time of need, when we feel inadequate and that we have nothing more to offer, but he comes and he listens and He heals.  I finally get it, (for now, I am sure I will forget and remember again, but hey I am in a process folks) I have nothing to fear because God is in control, He knows what is going on, He is involved in every detail!  I am not scared of even getting sick from the medication, if it happens it is alright, I will get through it, if it gets even more hard, it is alright because God will carry me through.  He won't fail me and He won't leave me.  Also, I am so stinking loved from family, friends, and people who I have never met, but have been told that they are praying for me!  Yes, I have a tumor, but who am I to get such a blessing by all of this love and acceptance and I know that it is okay to feel the emotion of it, but it is just as important to come to the other side and see God's work through all of it!  

Now that I have rambled on, I want to thank each and every one of you because you may not know it, but you each are making such a difference in my life by your prayers or your little messages of encouragement or your texts just letting me know you are there and care and are praying.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  May God bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you and give you peace.  I love you all dearly!!  Until we "speak" again... Good night!